Perfectionism, Imposterism, and Implicit Bias, oh my! And other reflections of SF and LA Tech Weeks
Confession: I’m a recovering perfectionist. It’s a not-so-secret secret. In so many ways, for me, it was inevitable. My parents are both perfectionists with very strong work ethics combined with persistence and insatiable curiosity. Allll of that was passed down to me in spades. But, while that accounts for the nature aspect, it doesn’t consider that nurture element.
While my parents, and my aunt and uncle who are like a second set of parents, instilled independence and the value of education in the strong-willed and stubborn girls that me and my sister were (and still are!), as young girls we were not immune to the societal messages and norms of what girls should be, who we should be and how we should act.
Girls, and women, were meant to be NICE, always positive, not too much of any one thing. We should look a certain way, be demure, modest, highly accomplished, and perfect. And, I for certain, got the message in school that math wasn’t for me. Add to that, I was a classical ballet dancer … the pursuit and achievement of perfection defines the art form.
So, why do I bring this all up now? I spent some time at both SF TechWeek and LA TechWeek over the past two weeks with my wonderful business partner, and co-founder of Mind the Gap Services, Sarah Pettay. We attended every event that champions women founders, funders, and leaders along with every women’s health and FemTech event. I’ve been in Tech a LONG time; long enough to experience the spectrum of female suppression and female empowerment in the workplace. There were some common threads across these events: Progress has been made, but implicit bias and under-representation are still strong; perfectionism is still alive and fully kicking; imposterism (aka imposter syndrome) is still in full effect; a primary super-power of women is empathy; and change is afoot.
While it shouldn’t, it kind of blew my mind. I mean, it’s 2024. Why are we still feeling less-than? The most simple answer: Because, generally, we’re still treated as less-than. Ouch.
There have been some truly positive and meaningful strides in equality and equity that should be celebrated, but the imbalances are still staggering: Only 13% of VC funding goes to startups with women on the founding team; women make up only 11% of partners at VC firms; all female founders’ share of funding is holding steady at a mind-boggling 30-year average of 2.4%. Women get more negative questions when seeking funding than their male counterparts—often questioned more about downside and risk than upside, potential or vision. We’re held to a higher standard. One which so many of us not only meet but exceed (at great mental cost, for many) … and then we question or downplay our success.
There are more VCs and PEs today, than ever before, who champion women founders and women-led teams—as they should, since women-founded/led startups tend to outperform all male founder teams. More than that, there are more women-founded/led VCs writing checks. And, even more than that, there are more VC and PE shops (led by women AND men) that are doubling down on supporting women’s health and FemTech … finally, no longer seeing women’s health as a niche space. I mean, women’s health only affects 50% of the population, so I guess that’s “niche”? 🤔
The tide is turning. The drive, the determination, and (dare I say?) the ambition these women founders, funders and ecosystem supporters have is incredible. The collective energy and voices present at each of the events Sarah and I attended didn’t fill me with hope. It did something better: It provided demonstrable proof of the sea-change in progress.
I don’t know if I’ll see true equality and equity in my lifetime. I mean with a 30-year average of all female founders’ funding sitting at 2.4% … that sea-change would need to be a tidal wave of change. I’m not saying it’s not possible—there’s many of us trying to solve the problem in so many different, meaningful ways. It’s possible. It will take collective, consistent effort from both women and men.
We’ll still continue to grapple with perfectionism and imposterism. BUT, we’ll know that it’s fleeting … false. We’ll know because we have more awareness that it exists. More importantly, we have each other to help each other compassionately confront our perfectionistic tendencies and to remind us to stand in our strength, our power, and, yes, our success.
Originally posted as a LinkedIn article on Oct 18, 2024.